Another day at the saltmine

What a hell weekend, not to sound too negative :(...A lot of stuff going on with family and such. A bit under fire, and in the trenches. I don't have it tough and am blessed. So I don't want to sound ungrateful. It's just there is big decisions to be made, and I can't make them. I also get down about my music too. I feel disgenuine about it. Maybe I do not pour my heart and soul truly into it. I think I hold back. I feel sad about that. I think I actually care what people think. To me, that is sad. I don't know. I think also I am way to self absorbed so it all compounds me, as I think everybody should like my music. But, it is much the opposite. Well deserved though, if I am truly holding back than the music is not genuine and shouldn't be liked. Boo hoo. The New York decision is weighing heavy on my heart. I am hot/cold/cold/hot about it constantly. I make a decision and get talked out of it, fear and weakness. I pray about it everyday, and feel like the answer is a split road. My mom is opposed to it like she was when I got married. She was right about the marriage. Does it matter if this is a wrong decision or not? I don't know. I am just uninspired right now. I released an album. Nobody cares. Let the inspiration dwindle. But who knows, tomorrow I will probably be posting butterflies and new sun shiny days.

fun times/grooving

Well now, I had an interesting weekend. What was interesting? I didn't really rest. I didn't do but a couple of stints of just lazy lounging. Most of the time I was practicing performing a song live on my monome's or working on a remix. I only have those two things brewing. It feels good right now, like I am in a groove. I am sure athletes who can't miss a shot or can't be beaten must feel that groove. I am sure in that groove there is a feeling of "I am gonna do what I do, I do not care about what the other person thinks..." Also, I have no i dea what my future holds, and I totally embrace that, kinda enjoy it. I trust in the Lord, so my future is blessed, no matter what it may be. I know that I am working towards a goal, and if I am to succeed, or divert then that is what is supposed to happen. Fears I am learning are just roadblocks. Fear in the Lord is a sign of success.

So, what is on the musical plate? Well right now I am working song by song in developing a live show. I am utilizing my monome's and a Faderfox LV2. I am trying to combine triggering premade sounds and organicly arranging them with manipulating some as well. So far I am almost done with one song, it looks like a long journey. But, I think well worth it in the end. I am also working on a remix of a song by Nation2nation called shimmer. It has an awesome singer and amazing sounds. It was a lounge track but I am making it a bit aggressive. So all of these things are moving slowly. I like it that way though, more quality and paying attention. Also, still giving New York relocation a serious thought! Serious. So yea.

....hmmmm

The download count continues, 986 for the album. I dunno, I have mixed feelings about that. On one hand almost a thousand people have heard my music. Do they like it, are they a 'fan'. Does the music even invoke replay's? I am soo self conscience. I should really not care about how many downloads I have. That is so miniscule compared to the bigger picture. Making kick butt music that inspires. Geez, feel like I have been saying that to myself for a long time. Anyway, I'll just keep pushing it out there, and keep trying to develope a live show. Work on new mini EP's and let them chips fall where they may! It's in Gods hands no matter how hard I try. But, I do have to try hard.

The other day I was going shopping at Trader Joes and was looking for a parking spot. I found a spot and waited as an older gentleman pulled out of a spot and looked like he was having visibility troubles. So, he kept backing out, straight, a slight turn, but mostly straight. And he kept going with a car approaching from the other side that was in a parking spot. Blap! He binked into another car, he moved the car real good, he stopped, looked back, pulled forward, looked back again...no damage, BOUNCE. Peace out! Old men don't mess with insurance claims, they lived for like 80 years, it doesn't apply to them anymore. Get a clue.

900 dl's

Wow!! Almost 900 downloads in a couple days time. Awesome. But minimal response considering the downloads. What does that mean? Anything? Maybe people download it and go 'eeew'. Or, maybe having the time in a persons busy schedule to listen to some unknowns aural offering is a tall task to ask. I don't know, each day holds more and more exposure. Another approach I am doing is the 'spam' approach. I am just mailing everybody I can starting on myspace. Who knows if it will be fruitful, but I am putting my best foot forward, and its up to God whether I am succesful anyway. No response from family (besides mom) or friends, I dunno, they probably think I am a hack wasting my time. I get so self conscience when I spend all this time getting an album together. I should really stop being so egotistical.

The trek continues.

hmmm

So, I am pleased with the response I am getting from the album. I am going to really work hard to get in as many forums, places and in peoples ear as possible. I feel it is good enough to be pesky, I guess. While still practicing humility, actively. Whats weird, is I don't know what to do next. Whats the next step? What is the next tone? Live show? Move to New York? God got some answering for me, I am waiting!!! Patience tho, patience. The future may hold nothing, it may hold the preverbial stars. Who knows, but all I know is I am a blank page again.

Another tutorial:


mlr rewire rv.1 from Timothy Preut on Vimeo.

Finally done!

So, I am finally done with the album!!!! Well, the last song needs a couple blips and bloops, but it is done yo! Tonight, I hope to have all the artwork done, and upload it to archive for the world to listen. I am excited, as I can move on to other things, like preparing a live show. Like diving into utilizing the monome. Like, getting better at instruments. Like figuring out things. I am excited! I actually think the album isn't half bad! It has some nice up tempo catchy tunes. I like it sorta at least. I just hope people give it a chance, give it a listen. Take 2 minutes out of their lives and give it a shot. Thats all. I realize the world is littered with millions of great songs, I just hope I can be a buoy in the sea, something to look for, something to behold. Weird.

More tonight!